How I W!sh

woah...
it's been long since i'd update this blog..
i've been very busy with internship..thesis..
and it almost end of year 2012..
there 1 thing that i wish i can change bout myself..
i wish that i can be more friendly with people..
it's not that i not a friendly with people,
just that i'm anly with my friend only..
stranger?i am so bad at making new friend..huhuhu..
maybe i got some problem in trusting people..
during my diploma, i think i'd improved a bit but
during degree..i think it become worst..
not really interact with people, except friend that i comfortabbe with...
and right now, i wish i can become friendly with people..
able 2 talk 2 other people..able 2 express myself well..
how i wish i can tell other bout how i really felt..
no more holding up onto myself..
by end 2013, i wish i can become more cheerful person..
and till then..
c ya 2013....
#nolza..

it's been so long

finally..
it's been so long since d laz entry...
i'm currently in my 3rd year of study..
doing practical at gym UiTM, Samarahan...
place where i'd started my uni life...
since didn't finish my diploma at UiTM Samarahan,
it's a gud thing that i can finish my degree here...
it's so gud 2 be here...
it's does feel like home..
getting close 2 ur home..
close 2 ur family n frens..
will be here for 3 month...
gonna have a gud time...
b4 comeback 2 shah alam...
gonna make this practical session going 2 be DAEBAK...
n also gonna finish d research..aigoo..
till then...
nolza..!!!

dear daddy,

dear daddy,
it's father day...
so happy father day 2 my lovely father..
mr. Lawrence Ladi..

evnthought i've never say those  'i luv u' words 2 u...

 u  noe that i owez luv u..
thanks 4 everything..
n sorry 4 not being a quite gud daughter..tet..ahhah
well, i'll try 2 be gud daughter 4 u in d future from now on..
eventhought sumtime i fell like u overprotective of me..
i noe that is 4 my own gud..
n i luv d way u raise me up n teach me about life...
although i owez being ur stubborn daughter..
u owez b patience..will owez try 2 fulfill my wish..
n i like it when we're shopping..
u owez said  "dad dun have much money, so juz buy important things k"
but, in the end i owez get what i want...n as usual, over d budget..;p
i'm 22 this year, but u owez treat me like i'm still in high school..
sumtime it kinda annoying...but i can accept it now..;)
n when u hug n kiss my forehead in public...
sumtime i do feel ashamed but..honestly..
i luv it..becoz, i noe that u luv me..

even if i growing old..i'll owez b ur little girl..
thank 4 ur luv...
i'll make u proud of me someday..
n until then..
please bear with my stubborness...;p
luv n miz u a lot daddy....
happy father day..;)

As I am...

Do u know that d people who seem d strongest

r usually d most sensitive?

Do u know that d people who exhibit d most kindness

r usually d one 2 get mistreated?

Do u know that d one who take care of others all d time

r usually d one who need it d most?

Do u know d 3 hardest thing 2 say r

I LUV U, I'M SORRY & HELP ME?

be kind 2 every1 u meet as u never know who is fighting which battle & when.....

adapt this poem words..or whaever u may call it...

from fb page (Inspiration In Life)...

kinda like d sentence there...

i've 2 admit that it usually hapen 2 me... sumtime..

juz want 2 add up on others hardest thing words 2 say is THANK U..

those I Luv U words, i've used it last weekend...

when i talk 2 my mom...n msg with my sis...heheeheeh

dun simply use those words 2 sumone u juz meet...

i do care about others n sumtime  i care 4 them more than i care 4 myself..

sumtime i do feel so..but i juz can't help it...

i feel like it is important 4 me 2 take care or not hurting their feeling..

even though my feeling is hurt..;(

but in my family, they took very gud care of me..as i am now..

n i'm looking forward 2 take a gud care of them also...

i've try 2 change but...alway didn't work out...

i guess that me...

nobody perfect aite..

n as i am..

i'm happy with that..

maybe later on i'm  gonna change myself...4 gud..

4 d mean time..enjoy this life..!!!!

NolZaaa.....!!!





'jUaLikAn'

seem like getting lazy 2 blogging these day..
huhuhu..
been so bz with assgment..n etc...
'jualikan'..also known as SELFISH...
a lot of people that i've meet have this some kind of disease...!!!
owez think that they d only that are right..
owez think of themselve...
doesn't even think of other people around them..
what d fish were they think..!!!
wake up dude..u r being hated by being selfish....
people around me may got this disease..
but somehow i kind of manage to adapt with them..
maybe i 've enough...
or maybe i didn't want too fussy bout it..
but in my heart...
only God knows...;D

 one thing that really annoy bout this people disease is
when they r d wrong one...
but owez try 2 blame other..
kind of s^*t man...
if u want 2 b selfish..
go 2 d market n sell fish..
maybe it will be more worthy...
hhahhah..tet..;p

that all 4 2day..
boom sakalakaalakaa..
daa..;)

Research

bam raatattataa..
diz sem part 5...
so kna buat research...
4 my topic, i've choose d topic of sport psychology
y d becoz???
i luv psychology actually
mmg bez klo study psal psychology ni especially
klo psal emotion seseorg..sifat2 seorg ke..hehehhe
jgn aku yg ter psycho suda......hahahh

talking about d researh, i've chosen the topic of
d effect of mental training on netball shoot's...
basicly, my research will determine d effect of mental training such a d use of imagery n
self talk in netball..
briefly about d research it's gonna be done in 6 week time
time praktikal plak 2..
ehm, cmna la nk bg msa ni..
nk cri participant lg 2..
i'll need a total amount of 90 people 4 my research..
byak 2...huhuhu..
tempat praktikal pn blum decide lg ni...
hmm..kind a stress dis sem..
dun wory ...b hepy..
n gud luck 4 me 2 do thid research...
gambatee kodasai...;)
hahhaah...

boom sakalakaaaa...
nolzA!!!!...

Kemalasan yang Melanda

semakin hari smakin malaz..
haahahahh
ntah r...sem ni mcm mlaz je nk study...huhuhu
asyk nk blik umah je...
homesick sangat kot..hehhe
kind of boring this sem..
exercise pn mlaz nk buat..
alamatnya..
smakin berat la badan ni yg sememangnya sudah berat time cti ari 2..
ahhaah...
tp ade 1 thing yg smkin rjin sem ni..
rajin bsuh bju....hahah
klo laz sem, 1mggu 1-2 kli bsuh bju..
tp sem ni, 2 hari skali bsuh bju..
rjin x rjin...ahahhah...

i guess that all 4 dis moment...
x tau nk tlis pa lg..
boom shakalaka...
nolzA!!!!!

ForEver ALonE

lonely...i'm mrs lonely...
baby i'm so lonely..
eventhough u r here
i'm so lonely..
hahaahah...
it's juz a song from my fav girl grup 2NE1...nolza!!!
every1 in this world sure dun want 2 be lonely..
but at some point, there is a time when we need 2 be on our own time..
but, doesn't mean dat we r left out...
or been ignored...sumtime i do feel so...haahahah..;p
it's juz dat we need time on our own 2 reflect on sumting..
or need time 2 make desicion..or juz 4
fun..
fun ke lonely ni...tet...hahahah...
peolple may have their own definition of lonely..
but 4 me.. it does not really matter..
d most important thing is we should noe that
there is owez some1 who is really care n luv us..

u can be better by yourself....
dun kick d chair..

it gonna b better...

daa...

;)

global warming

hmpir 1 bln dh kt cni
new sem..new subjct..new stresss...new problemss..huhuuh
n yg paling ketara skang ni..kepanasan yg teramat
y la kt shah alam ni tersangat la panas..
even tido mlm pn tersangat la pnas..
pkei singlet pn tetap jgak bpeluh klo bangun tido...
ehmmm..
pemanasan global sedang berlaku kot
dh la berjerebu..
knapa la tmpat ni kurang tumbuhan2 such as pokok2...
2 lh maslhnya klo nk sgt pembangunan yg maju kunun..huhuhu
klo kt ngara omputih, bley jgak pkei shirtless...tet
but, since this is eastrian, pakei je yg x menjolok mta..

since cuaca panas skang ni..
sumtime x menentu..
do drink a lot of water..
n try 2 be cool..;p
bam ratatta tatat
nolza..!!!!

REST IN PEACE

on 30/1 that day,6 am, i was informed that my stepmom passed away at hospital...at first i can't believe it b'coz it was so shock...i thought that it was a dream until i called my dad 2 confirm d news...it is d 1st time that i've lost some1 who is close 2 me...since i was at my kampung that time, i've went 2 cbu jaya that noon 2 c her 4  d last time...only when i arrive at the house i started 2 cry..all relative r already coming...there r people who is crying...all i can do is sit next 2 her body n juz cry...eventhough she is my stepmom, i've live with her since i'm in kindergarden till i finish my form 5...

she was only 61 years old...i still thought that it is too early 4 her 2 leave dis world...i've 2 admitt that i owez take granted of her when she still alive...now, i regret that i never showed that i luv her...never told her that i do luv her like my biological mother...it is also regretful also since she didn't have any chance 2 c me finish my degree...i didn't get d chance 2 give her my salry if i get a job...i also had a wish that i will take her 2 traveling 2 somewhere if there is a chance...now, it juz a dream never come true... it's had past 1 month after she gone,n i  miss her so much aite now..i think i've cried so much on that day, i guess i will save my tears 4 sumone or sumthings really importants in d future... but i was fortunate that i've been blessed with both my stepmom n my biological mother love till i'm 22 years old..since my biological mom is still alive, i will embrace her...4 what i'm doing aite now, i owez think of her 1st...i'll cherish all d moment with her..i'll try my bez 2 become a gud daughter 2 her...

dear mom, i luv u..
n sorry 4 not being a gud daughter 4 u in ur lifetime...
i will owez luv n miss u...
i noe u will be watching me up there..
R.I.P

Somebody Else...

Whose possesion have u become

u could have at least told me

coincidently, i saw u 2 at d pace where we use 2 be

all of sudden, we become adult

i noticed pace that we set out on different path

 not me, somebody else

 eventhough i loved 2 for so long

 eventhough we're closer than anyone

 it was'n me

 somebody else

 u choose her

 eventhough i'll make u happy

d only things i could do is looking

if i hold u, i will break it

so i'm waiting

d sadness doesn't end

nobody know my feeling

i feel like i'll become messed up

if it was possible

i would want 2 tell u everything right away

d fact that u won't come back anymore

now, i'll embrace our memory

 i'm juz ur somebody else

 juz a friend

 u seem happy

 if i could protect u with a smile

i would be happy with jus that...

nganglak kao..;)

bam rata tatatatatt...
~7~
nolza..!!!!


                                               

Food maniac....

since i've been got ulcer 4 d past 3 day...
it's so hard 2 mkn dowh...
minum air pn payah..omg...
tmbah lg ngan headache yg sgt skit..
i think that d worst headache i've ever had...
but thank God everything is ok now..ulcer pn smkin ok..
dh bley mkn nasi dh skang..huhuhu...;)
moral of d story, minum air byak klo xnk kna ulcer...

                                            sup cendawan..sedap dowh...ni lh mknan ruji time ulcer..huhu..
                                    klo mkn ngan bread pn sedap gak..western la plak..;p

            

bubur nasi perisa udang...juz bought dis yesterday...slalu dengar mee sgera kn,

bubur segera pn ade skang..huhu...juz had dis 4 lunch td..

ni mkanan 4 dinner td...since ulcer pn dh smkin smbuh, kta mkn sepuas-puasnya...

3 ari kot asyk mkn sup n bubur je..satay ayam..bli kt psar mlm sek 7 ngan faezah ptg td..

side dish 4 2nite dinner..pau ayam...besar kot..n murah r jgak..ni pn bli kt

psar mlm sek 7..2nite dinner was daebak!!!

                                     erkk..ni mkanan last week..prosperity burger..i'm lovin it...

bdw, yesterday mkn kimbab n bubur..thanks 2 jen, ikka, n ann...eheheh..yesterday totally jjang!!!...;p
i was so cerewet klo bab mknan...
even nk mkn kt kdai pn, kna cri kdai yg ada jual what i want 2 eat..
but now, i can eat anything..everywhere...as long as it call FOOD..!!
i thing 4 sure, still x bley mkn bawang lg..huhuhu...;p
lastly, mkan utk hidup, not hidup utk mkan...hahaah..;p

bam ratata tatatata...

it's 2012...!!!

it's 2012 sudah...
cepatnya msa berlalu kn..huhuhu
taun baru..azam baru..boipren baru..tet..
everything baru..
since this is new year..everyone nk buat azam bru r..
nk jd single r..nk cri boifren/gurlfren r..
what kind of azam is that..
but, depend ngan org 2 la yek..
jnji ko heppy...
but 4 me..juz realize that since laz year, i didn't have azam bru
omg..so this year??
ehhmm...i think...
i'll juz go with d flow...ahhahh
i want to become a better person...
a better daughter 2 my parent....
doesn't mean that i was a bad person la kn..
a bit la kot..tet..
but, 1 thing 4 sure..i am still me..
hopely la kn...hahaah..

let's start fresh in this new year..

 vanish all d bad memory..

but never regret what had hapen...

create a new memory...

live a new life..

cherish every moments...

life change every moment

live every moment 2 d fullest

coz, this moment might not be there 2morrow...

face this life with smile....spread d love..peace...

Kao Jirayu,

this year..i wish i can keep u in my heart 4 a long time...;p

bam rata tatata...

nolza....!!!